Conflict resolution checklist

Hopefully your relationship with the children’s parents will be mostly smooth sailing, but face facts: conflicts will come up. When something goes wrong, here is how to bring the problem out in the open.

Do be honest

Without open communication, little misunderstanding becomes big ones. Talk openly about what’s upsetting you – and you can expect the parents to do the same.

Do be specific

Instead of complaining in general (“The day is so stressful”) use examples that make your case clearly. (“There is no time in between driving to activities for me to get the laundry done”)

Do work on a resolution

Together, try to find the solution to the problem - not only for the child’s sake, but to ensure continued successful of the relationship.

Do keep the child out of it

Issues or disagreements about the child or the job should never be discussed with or in front of the children. You might be working with the children, but you are working for their parents.

Do not bottle it up

Instead of letting all your problems and complaints pile up for months, then spitting them out in a resentful tirade, focus on one major issue at a time.

Do not accuse

Avoid putting the parents on the defensive. Instead of saying “you keep doing this” say “ I am not happy when this happens”. It also helps to put the positive spin on it: I think it might work better if…”

Do not ignore the response

Remember; there are two sides to every issue. Even if you do not agree with the parents’ side, it is important that you listen to it.

Do not take it personally

Parents want what is the best for their children – and when they ask to change the way you do something, that is the reason. Try not to see suggestion as a criticism of you.