Welcome the new au pair warmly

Most au pairs arrive in a foreign country after a long journey, so it’s natural that they need time to rest, recover from travel fatigue, acclimate, and get used to their new environment. The first day and evening should be dedicated to getting to know each other—over a nice dinner or a glass of wine! Give your new guest time to settle in and make their new space feel like home so they can start their new life with the family well-rested the next morning.

Laying the foundations

The success of the au pair program largely depends on how much effort the family puts into getting to know their new family member and clearly and consistently explaining the tasks. In some placements, the family and the au pair quickly adapt to each other, and the children easily get used to and grow fond of the new family member.

However, settling in and establishing a routine for the tasks takes time. It’s important not to expect too much at the beginning, to be patient, and to delegate tasks and responsibilities clearly and consistently. Believe us—the time invested at the start of the program will pay off later! To make the collaboration easier, we provide every client with a Family Handbook containing useful tips.

Clarifying expectations

It is also very important to clarify childcare and supervision tasks with a new au pair. Children are already used to certain rules and behavioral norms within their family environment. Make sure to explain your expectations regarding child-rearing from the very beginning and consistently reinforce them. Children cannot be raised under two different sets of expectations at the same time!

Induction to duties

It is well worth taking the time to be very specific about the duties you are expecting the au pair to complete. Do not underestimate the cultural differences that may be highlighted when you have someone new living in your house. If you like things done in a particular way, then these will need explaining and demonstrating to the au pair. Remember, the smallest of habits can lead to misunderstanding so, if you like the dishwasher loaded in a certain way because that works best, you will need to explain this. This area is particularly critical where an element of childcare is involved. We all bring our children up slightly differently, and you will want to ensure that the au pair reflects your desires and standards in all activities relating to the children.

Induction to Household

Over the first couple of days you should ensure that the au pair has a basic introduction to the household and particularly the operation and location of any facilities that you require the au pair to use in their duties, and also those available during the au pair's own time.

For example, the following may form part of the household induction:

• Household security: - locking doors, windows, setting alarms
• Domestic appliances: - cooker, microwave, washing machine etc
• Entertainment: - TV, etc.
• Heating and lighting
• Emptying bins, waste disposal/recycling

Induction to area

Again, in the first few days, the au pair will appreciate any time taken to introduce the locale, and particularly the local bus and train stations. It can be daunting to try and figure out a timetable and buy a ticket in a foreign country, so if an opportunity arises the au pair will appreciate being shown these facilities in some detail. The happier the au pair is in the environment, the more rewarding the au pair placement will be for the au pair and the family.

Registering with a Doctor

Assist your au pair in locating the local surgery and registering with them. This is important as it avoids delays and bureaucracy in the event that the au pair requires treatment during the placement. Registration requirements will be explained by the surgery.

Local College/Language School

It is usual for an au pair to attend a local language course in order to improve the standard and proficiency in the language of the host country. The au pair normally meets the cost of travelling to and from the school, and of any course fees, unless you previously agreed to meet these. Attendance of a course may require some flexibility in the timetable, particularly if the au pair is helping you for a number of hours in addition to the five hours per day. It makes sense to investigate the course location, cost, and timetable, prior to the au pair placement arrangements being finalised.

Effective communication

Effective communication can prevent or resolve many problems and misunderstandings. When a new person joins the family, it’s natural that they are not yet familiar with the household routines or your rules for raising children. These should be clarified from the very beginning to ensure a smooth and quick integration.

In bilingual families, if communication also takes place in a foreign language, always speak slowly and clearly, explaining everything, as some issues may arise simply from language differences. From experience, it can be especially difficult in the first few weeks to fully understand a native speaker, particularly in slightly stressful situations. Effective communication helps everyone get to know each other and clarifies potential misunderstandings.

Contact with other au pairs

If possible introduce your au pair to others in the local area. You will be able to find other local au pairs via the local language schools. This will help kick-start a social framework for your au pair, and will be appreciated.

House rules

You should give careful consideration to the following areas and write clear guidelines as to exactly your requirements. This will set clear ground rules and minimise potential areas of misunderstanding that may lead to conflict at a later stage.

Care of children

It is very worthwhile taking the time to explain in detail the way you prefer your children to be cared for, and detailing any special requirements you or they may have. In particular you must assess the proficiency and experience the au pair has in childcare and not leave the au pair in a situation where he or she is out of their depth, as this could put the well being of the child in jeopardy. Please remember that an au pair is usually not a professionally qualified child carer such as a nanny, and should not be treated as such.

Providing contact information

A basic rule, especially during the initial period when a new au pair starts working, is to always provide contact information in case you are not at home. Both the children and the au pair should know that no other adult is present in the house. Discuss in advance what steps to take in case of a problem and who can be called or asked for help.

Driving and car use

If you require the au pair to drive at any time you will need to ensure that the au pair has a licence valid for abroad, that the minimum legal insurance requirements are met, and that you and the au pair are both confident in the au pair's driving skills. It makes sense to ensure that all parties are clear as to whether any private use of a vehicle is allowed, and whether any reimbursement by the au pair for running costs is expected in this event. It is also worth considering what might happen in the event of an accident and subsequent insurance claim. As au pairs are young people the insurance excess is often an appreciable amount, and if an accident happens whilst the au pair uses the vehicle privately, it will be beneficial to have agreed responsibility for the excess payment upfront, so all parties are aware of the ground rules.